Goodman's Gifts & Stationery Store

February 14
Cashier: Elyse

3 boxes of heart-shaped chocolate . . . $12.00

Chocolate is the only good thing about this nauseating holiday.

4 containers of candy hearts . . . $5.00

Ever since my ex cheated on me, I've sworn off love. Too bad my new neighbor Patrick didn't get the memo.

1 Valentine's Day card . . . $4.50

I'm not interested. Although, he is pretty cute. And sweet. And funny.

1 singing Cupid doll (promotional item) . . . $0.00

Stupid Cupid! Point your arrows at someone else. . . .

Subtotal . . . $21.50

It's going to be a complicated Valentine's Day.